Google + Boredom = No Financial Advisor

I am always a bit concerned about my personal finances. I'm particularly worried about retirement and not getting myself into too much financial trouble. I went to visit a financial advisor to see what he had to say and just generally hear him out on what he had to say. Going in, I already knew that this was going to be a sales pitch. Knowing that, I still went in to visit to see if this guy would be worth my hard earned money and if he could advise me in any way. I am always open to new ideas on getting a leg up on my financial goals.

The visit started nicely. I started talking with him about my financial goals and what current plans I currently have. He then went on to gather general information about how many assets and debt that I had. The final assessment was that I have very little debt and minimal financial obligations. With that being the case, he described my financial situation as "simple".

Somewhere during the talk, I started to become skeptical about the quality of service that he would be able to provide. He did appear to be quite young. So in my head, I was thinking "What does this guy know about personal finances that I don't know?" I am by no means a financial expert, hence I was seeking advisement, but this guy couldn't have been in the industry for more than 5 years. I felt somewhat uncomfortable seeking advisement from someone who hasn't been in the industry very long. After all, it is my hard earned money.

Here's where it gets ugly. I politely declined his service. He then got a bit irritated. I assume he was expecting me to be a shoe-in client and when I declined, he didn't handle it very well. He hammered back "You don't think I am worth XXX and that I could save you XXX money within a year?" I simply replied that I couldn't afford to invest that amount at the current time. He flipped out.

He became unprofessional at this point, so I headed home. I later became a bit curious to find out exactly what qualifications this guy held. I did a quick google search for his name. The first thing that I found was he graduated from the University of California, Santa Barbara. That's fine, nothing wrong with going to a party school. I then found out that he majored in a degree called "Global Studies". What the hell is "Global Studies"? Quickly looking up UCSB, I found the Global Studies Course Descriptions. I also found an overview of the Global Studies major.

January 2004 marked the fifth anniversary of the establishment of UCSB’s pioneering global studies major. When it was established in early 1999 it was widely recognized as one of the first interdisciplinary undergraduate majors in international studies in the country to focus on globalization. Former Secretary of State Warren Christopher presided over the inaugural occasion.

Within those five years, the numbers of global studies majors grew to over 700 per year—60% focusing on the socioeconomic and political aspects of globalization, and 40% emphasizing the cultural and ideological side. Most students choose Europe as their geographical area, and Spain is the most popular venue for studies abroad.

Last time I checked, globalization didn't have anything to do with personal finances. Nor did socioeconomic and political aspects of globalization.

Searching further, I discovered that he was in the graduating class of 2004. I just recently graduated at California State University, Northridge in 2006 with a degree in Computer Science. Really, neither of us are really experts when it comes down to what we studied. To give him credit though, he did say that he was certified to deal with financial advisement. However, to me, a certification only means that he read a book and took a test on what he read. A monkey could do that (Sorry Pan. I shouldn't have compared this financial advisor with you).

Disregarding that, what kind of advice would I have gotten if I really did reach out to him. To figure this out, I jumped over to the Ameriprise Financial careers page. To my amazement, I couldn't really find any requirements to work there. It seems that they are willing to provide training and resources to make anyone a financial advisor. What I did find was a compensation page. Here's what I did find.

• "Commissions paid bi-weekly ranging from 40% to 55% payout".
• "Initial commission payout of 50%"
• "First year payout of 60% of all financial planning fees"

Does this mean that he's going to be trying to sell me options that he gets paid large commissions on? ABSOLUTELY!

In the end, I am very happy that I didn't spend the money that was asked..

Thanks Google! Sorry Mr. Ali Kattan-Wright, I'll pass at this time.